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Joke of the Day

"At 4am I'm pretty sure it's either too early or too late to start drinking. But if the vodka is in my cheerios, it's technically breakfast."

"I had a nosebleed all of the sudden in the kitchen Now how am I supposed to tell them that my wife fell on the knife?"

"What do guns and millennials have in common? You need to keep them in a safe space if you don't want them triggered."

"Funny joke v0.01 What's black all over? Niggers."

"ppl always judge adam & eve for listening to the talking serpent but u never hear a single person say anything about dr doolittle"

"Why do people wish they had a nickel for every time something happens instead of 5 MILLION DOLLARS?"

"(Real news) In Florida, a truck filled with $120,000-worth of chocolate was stolen. Police warn the thieves could be armed and PMSing."

"I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like: "" I'm tired ."" ""I'm washing my hair."" ""I've got a headache."" ""I am your sister-in-law."""

"The way to treat women is always in your heart. Beat beat beat."

"diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any."