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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said I have a pretty penis... I replied, ""I guess you could say its the belle of the balls"" hopefully you guys enjoy this joke more than she did."

"Why do married women have sex with the lights out. They can't stand to see a man have a good time."

"What's the name of China's new atmosphere-cleanup program? The Desolation of Smog."

"Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: I'm stuck on you."

"Tickle me Elmo was recalled They forgot to give him two test tickles."

"(x-post /r/meanjokes) What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? 1 dead baby in 10 dumpsters"

"A deaf guy walks into a bar... A deaf guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."" Deaf guy says, ""I'll have a beer."""

"Jesus loves you. These are beautiful words to hear in a church, and absolutely horrifying ones to hear in a Mexican prison."

"I haven't showered since last year. It's still 2014, right?"

"Water is so good when it's mixed with barley, hops, and yeast."