66058

Joke of the Day

"What's also red and know if you're naughty or nice? My penis during my girlfriend's period"

"*nervously plays with tie* ""I'm sorry. I'm no good during job interviews."" That's ok, just let go of my tie and go on your side of the desk."

"If we're strictly talking body count, then I'm a morning person."

"""Hey dude, have you ever considered being a comedian?"" Yes but everyone laughed at me."

"Grandpa looks at his grandson and says, ""Go hide! Your teacher is here because you skipped school today."" The grandson says, ""No, you go hide. I told her you were dead!"""

"What's the difference between my porn stash and Call of Duty? One is full of screaming 10 year old boys and the other is Call of Duty."

"When pigs fly they will have the most delicious wings."

"A guy says to the other... ""Marriage has taken all the joy out of sex."" ""How so?"" ""You know, there is always the terrifying chance of my wife coming home."""

"Men often think that women don't know what they want. That's incorrect. Women know exactly what they do and don't want, however, those two are usually the same thing."

"He sat down and ordered a drink... The bartender said ""I'm sorry. We don't serve faster than light particles here."" A Nutrino walked into a bar."