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Joke of the Day

"What branch of the military did the hipster join? The Salvation Army."

"On sunday remember to turn your clocks back an hour And on tuesday vote Trump to set our country back 60 years."

"If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers. And you can keep me as a reference."

"Why are Peruvians always deported? Because they can't Peruve they're citizens"

"I bet my fish rolls his eyes when I tell people on the phone how busy I am."

"what did the doe say when she came out of the woods? I'm never doing THAT for two bucks again."

"Why do the Scottish Wear Kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"want to hear me say something funny? well alright then....""something funny"" there"

"So I'm Calling random stores & saying ""Hey It's Michael, Screw you guys, I quit!"".... There's got to be a Michael at one of these places..."

"I am fluent in Italian and Spanish, but I'm much better at Italian I guess you could say that Italian is my forte"