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Joke of the Day

"Just moved a book to make room for my phone on the table and in that one action I symbolized everything that's wrong with us."

"What do you call a cow that masturbates? Beef jerky."

"Son hunted 4 part of our family dinner 2night! With steady nerve & calm focus, he tracked down the hot dog buns for us at the grocery store."

"A Dutch guy, a Belgian guy and a Greek guy are sitting in a room The Dutch guy had a joke, but wanted money for it. The Greek guy couldn't pay it and the Belgian guy didn't get it."

"The shortest joke in the world 'Dwarf Shortages'"

"Why is Tina Fey so good with her use of irony? It's in the name..."

"What did music tell the pancakes? B flat."

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred... The top answer was: ""How in the hell did you get in here?"""

"I thought I typed ""twitter"" in my URL, but I got Hot Russian Ladies somehow instead. So, I guess I have a wife in the mail...."

"[Coffee line] *Sees cute barista* *Twirls hair* No whipped cream please *Sees his backward sunglasses* *Drops hand* Never mind. Load it up."