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Joke of the Day

"How many millenials does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. They hold it in place while the world revolves around them."

"Me: (from the back of the ambulance) CHANGE THE RADIO Medic: Sir you need to conserve your strength Me: I AM NOT DYING TO A COLDPLAY SONG"

"My girlfriend surprised me with a car! It's a good thing she missed me."

"Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone... In the car I'm driving."

"What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists? The Que Que Que?"

"I wore a Seattle Seahawks jersey to my midterm today. I know I shouldn't but ill pass."

"Girls go to the bathroom together because that's where we rap battle"

"What do you call the entrance to a prostitute's house? Hodor."

"A dyslexic person walks into a bar I on the other hand am not dyslexic and am not one to frequent drinking holes. Also I suck at jokes."

"I've never met a full on jew They were all just sort of jew-ish"