202849

Joke of the Day

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Suck his dick."

"Brain: What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on? Do the math! Me: Seriously?! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow"

"I look forward to hearing Michelle Obama's speech again. At the 2020 RNC."

"Did you hear some people are saying listening to Queen causes autism? Apparently it's because of the unusually high Mercury content."

"I tried changing my facebook name into Stephen Hawking but it said the username is invalid."

"Exam question: According to Germany how much is Greece worth? [1 Mark]"

"I haven't bought an iPhone with Siri yet because I have a fear of talking to women."

"What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu? In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend."

"Of course I like you, which is why I have to act like I don't like you so you'll know how much I like you."

"The Les Miserables sequel is so much better. Hugh Jackman has knives in his hands and fights a bunch of ninjas and shit. No singing at all!!"