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Joke of the Day

"I tried changing my facebook name into Stephen Hawking but it said the username is invalid."

"Ambien is not the answer, unless your neighbor questions why you were sleeping on their couch and where did their cheesecake go."

"Girl, You're like my mom I ain't gonna fuck my mom you sick fuck"

"I would pay 5$ to see my girlfriend naked on the street I don't have a girlfriend, 5$ would be a good bargain"

"What was Hitler's last two words? Oy Vey!"

"Why don't black people like pirates? they pronounce everything with a hard ""aargh"""

"A baby seal walked into a club"

"Whenever I'm behind a college girl in starbucks she has to order a triple mocha dark chocolate raspberry ugg boot white iphone 5 spice latte"

"*takes a puff of an E-Cigarette* yeah, I have all of Skrillex's albums on vinyl."

"Why did an emo become an accountant? There's no cuts like tax cuts."