202830

Joke of the Day

"Why don't vampires like steak? Because it's bad for their heart."

"*Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*"

"The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking."

"Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf."

"(Quick one-liner joke:) Why are pretty women like pianos? Because when they're not upright, they're grand!"

"I too went to the reddit restaurant... I had to ask other customers for sauce for any of the dishes."

"What do onions and people have in common? I weep uncontrollably when I cut them."

"Enable location? Seriously, Twitter? Have you met some of these folks?"

"if a plumber's career can go down the drain... And a fireman's job can go up in smoke, can a hooker get laid off?"

"Taco emergency ? Call 9 Jaun Jaun"