202771

Joke of the Day

"[Nsfw] What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"How do you hold your liqour? I hold mine by the ears."

"What did the man do after being found guilty of sabotaging the moonmission? He Apollo-gized."

"The most dire of Jay-Z's 99 problems is his inability to properly delegate minor problems."

"Diarrhea is hereditary.. It runs in your jeans."

"Why does 8 hate 7? Because 7 8 9"

"[shootout] Cop: I said fire a warning shot Me: I already did. Cop: you shot him in the face Me: warning the others that I'm a very good shot"

"I usually don't tell blondes jokes But when I do I have a 60% more chance to sleep with them."

"""Who'd win in a wresting match? Lemmy or God?"" ""Trick question. Lemmy IS God.""-Air Heads RIP Lemmy."

"Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old"