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Joke of the Day

"So two pencils got in an argument... It ended in a gra-fight."

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"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo. Better if you say this aloud."
"It sucks how if you say hi to someone once, you're now committed to saying hi to them the rest of your entire life."
"I saw a giraffe with a short neck It was sad, or a deer"
"There is no more cake. This is my suicide note."
"Do you like dragons? Because I'ma be dragon my balls across your forehead."
"One of my last days in town and my girlfriend asks me what I want to do, and I say we could just sit around. She says what will we sit around?"
"Men are like bank accounts. Without money they won't generate much interest."
"Colin Firth has a younger brother named Colin Thecond"
"Why does the corn hate the farmer? Because he picks his ears!"