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Joke of the Day

"One of my last days in town and my girlfriend asks me what I want to do, and I say we could just sit around. She says what will we sit around?"

"Relationship Status: we made our marriage counselor cry."

"What did the young digital clock say to its Grandfather clock? ""Look Grandpa, no hands!"""

"What did the fry cook do when he found out he was cooking burger patties made of feces? He flipped a shit."

"Why does Jared love 6-inch subs? He doesn't, he likes 14-year old girls"

"Hey guys, I have to lettuce you know that I spend half of my celery on vegetables. You carrot stop eating them but that's just my onion."

"What do you call a pile of kittens? a meowtain!"

"Statistics show.. that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gangbangs."

"What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction? Wong Wei"

"Your pussy is in more danger than a seal during Shark Week."