202434

Joke of the Day

"Facebook should make an option, to block people from tagging me in videos/pictures that have nothing to do with me."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And rape. Also, the dark. And being buried alive. Mondays. Most people, too. (and insects)"

"I was there when my wife gave birth... I was there when my wife gave birth. I watched as piss came out, and then shit. I think my wife regrets letting me name the twins."

"Where do sick boats go? The dock!"

"women love to see the veins in a man's arm. it shows he runs on blood, and not something more sinister"

"What do you call a person who's happy on a Monday? Unemployed."

"Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games."

"Power went out in my office building & a maintenance guy said Transformers blew. Um yeah it was a bad movie buddy now what about the power??"

"If I ever become a DJ, my name will be DJ Oriental Immigrant Because I lay down sick tracks"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist!"