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Joke of the Day

"Power went out in my office building & a maintenance guy said Transformers blew. Um yeah it was a bad movie buddy now what about the power??"

"What's Harry Potter's way to get to the bottom of a hill? Running . . . JK! Rolling"

"Can you write off a divorce as a home improvement expense"

"My eleven year old brother: ""I have Asperger's Syndrome..."" ""...want a burger?"""

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then he put a black rubber ball in her mouth with a strap around her head I'm just telling you what I saw"

"*sees a cat yawning* How the hell can you be tired?"

"Your momma's so fat... ...that when I asked her what her what her favorite time of the year was, she said, ""dinner time."""

"My girlfriend started pms-ing today. I thinks it's just a big ovary action."

"5: I went potty. Me: Did you remember to wipe this time? 5: No. Me: Why? 5: It's faster my way. I don't know how to counter that argument."

"What did the gay guy change his name to? Roy G. Biv"