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Joke of the Day

"If I ever become a DJ, my name will be DJ Oriental Immigrant Because I lay down sick tracks"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Well you can jelly your cock up her ass!"

"I like my men like I like my grapes. Me:- I like my men like I like my grapes Friend:- Big and black? Me:- no, 16 at a time."

"older man discovers the subreddit showerthoughts one afternoon..... That evening discovers phones is not waterproof."

"Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit? The bass was pegged, his hook was just right, and it made all the girls shake they booty."

"Q: What kind of guitar did the pool player own? A: A-cue-stick."

"A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, ""Ho! Ho! Ho!"" ""Yeah,"" Drake sighs as he keeps walking. ""She was."""

"How much does a dragon weigh? Wonton"

"Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task... ... however Romans nailed it."

"I asked her if she had ever tried 69 I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""