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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a person who's happy on a Monday? Unemployed."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani Kindergarten and a Taliban Training Ground? Don't ask me, I just fly the drone."

"What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a wall? My dick while doing it."

"What's three times worse than OCD? OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait..."

"I once dated someone with really smelly feet, the smell used to bring tears to my eyes... It was like someone was chopping bunions."

"blonde joke Q: How do you drown a blonde in a submarine? A: Knock on the door."

"I like it when people complement me on my grammar"

"Ladies, the next time a guy has the courage to talk to you, remember he's not wearing makeup. Also, remember what you look like without it."

"THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR... CLAUSTROPHOBIC MAN (runs into a phone booth) (runs out, crying) no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no n-"

"Why dont sharks ... Why don't sharks eat black people? They think it's whale shit"