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Joke of the Day

"Who invented mince? A leper playing guitar."

"What do the iPhone 7 and the Titanic have in common? There's no room for jack, on both of them"

"[waking up as an adult] What a beautiful day. I wonder what parts of my body will hurt today"

"- Do you have photos of your girlfriend naked? -No. - Do you want some?"

"This will be my first valentines with a girlfriend. Anyone have any ideas to help make it great? I'm 17, can drive and have a source of income. I would really like to make this one good."

"My wife got very upset at the funeral the other day, wailing and thumping the coffin with her fists And Jeeeeez, you should've heard her when she went in the furnace."

"What did the space between two tiles say? I AM GROUT"

"Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Neither did she."

"Why is it that whenever there is two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?"

"21st century divorce: I want it stipulated that he can't change the Netflix password."