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Joke of the Day

"This will be my first valentines with a girlfriend. Anyone have any ideas to help make it great? I'm 17, can drive and have a source of income. I would really like to make this one good."

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"Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume..."
"100% of Guy Fieri fans drive drunk."
"What is red and smells like blue Froot Loops? The murder-suicide scene at Toucan Sam's Miami penthouse."