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Joke of the Day

"You guys know why I don't drink fancy coffees? cos they cost a latte."

"What does a sperm whale say after getting a massage? (NSFW) You're whale-cum!"

"PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher ""can i use the bathroom?"" ""i don't know, CAN you?"" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk*"

"The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. ""For whosoever we are about to eat may the Lord make us truly thankful."""

"I like to make lists. I also like to leave them laying on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while at the store. Fun game"

"I'm a really big supporter of gay marriage... Mostly because I believe one day there will be a law that will allow you to shoot gay guys. And when that day comes, it will be much easier to find them."

"Did you know that if you put your finger on your nose there is a 99% chance... That your finger is gonna be on your nose... What were you expecting to find?"

"USA: ""Hey nachos, today's your big day!"" Nachos: ""What about Cinco de Mayo?"" USA: ""What'd you just say?"" Nachos: ""Nothing."""

"Remember when you were a kid and used to blow bubbles? He was askin' about you the other day."

"I remember a time when I was much younger and had an infinite supply of drugs and booze. Then some c**ksucker cut the umbilical cord."