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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that I can see into the future? I have 2020 vision"

"I Once Tried to Break the World Record for Most Records Broken Suffice to say, the employees at Village Music World were not happy with me."

"What do you get when you cross Tesla and Thomas Edison? A Kick-ass band"

"What do you say to pasta that gets thrown out? Hasta la pasta baby."

"I am not fake. I am not a parody. I am the Lord thy God, King of the Universe, you cosmic dipshits."

"When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance."

"If you like someone and don't know if they like you, just sue them and then ask them under oath if they think you're cute."

"Bigfoot walks into a bar.. The bartender is no longer able to discern reality and spends the rest of his life in a mental institution."

"Dear diary, although he was a malevolent killer, the headless horseman was really well dressed. My emotions about this are confusing."

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUUUUNNNGGGGGG"