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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying... Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died."

"I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk."

"Opening a bag of M&M's will produce no sound to a normal human. A toddler, it's like the atomic blast at Nagasaki to those creatures"

"So Fabio is endorsing a new line of Fleshlights They're calling them ""I can't believe it's not butt."""

"If you read a text in front of the mirror three times, I will appear and help you analyze it."

"Need help with your math homework? Visit mcdonalds.com/careers"

"Every time I see a white work van, I beat the driver unconscious, and check in the back. Sooner or later I'll be a hero."

"It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom."

"Paper is so terrible..."

"I decided to tell a gay joke but.... I decided to tell a gay joke but then I saw you walk into the room and I decided not to. You're always the butt end of the joke."