202000

Joke of the Day

"I wish people would reserve ""awesome"" for truly awe-inspiring things like the grand canyon, moon landing, and this ranch dressing omg"

"What did the French man say when he tripped down the stairs? Eiffel."

"I think this joke is clever. What do you think? How do you turn a metal cutting drill bit into a stone masonry drill bit? Sharpen the tip to 32 degrees."

"ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever."

"What does an egg do for fun? Kari - YOKE - ee *Ha Ha Ha*"

"What the difference between a police car and a porcupine? With a police car, the pricks are on the inside"

"When does a hunger strike stop? When hunger strikes."

"Dad, can I have another cup of water? Dad: But its your 12th cup tonight! Son: I know, the baby's room is still on fire."

"Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful? The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube."

"If you're nervous about speaking in public just imagine everyone holding a meatball sub. Even if you're not nervous picture it. It's amazing"