193452

Joke of the Day

"ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever."

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? A: Still no ideer"

"To get a job in the Army you need good peoples kills."

"Late 9/11 joke. My dad died during 9/11. He was driving a plane."

"Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"

"Did you hear about the nudists that attempted to forcefully take over a local beach? It was roundly condemned as a case of naked aggression."

"Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour? Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!"

"Lawyer: The defense rests Judge: Counselor, your rebuttal? Lawyer: HAHAHA that sounded like ""you're a butthole"" Judge: LOLOLOL #Buttle"

"George Carlin:""Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?"" ""What if I want something that works violently right now?"""

"What's the difference between cab drivers and F1 drivers? F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver"