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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between a police car and a porcupine? With a police car, the pricks are on the inside"

"What do you call someone without a Liver? Deader."

"Two prostitutes are discussing the hazards of their job One says, ""Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"" ""No, but I've been slung around by the tits."""

"If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of rice because maybe an Asian will come by and fix it."

"Freddie Gray's death was a real Homie-cide"

"What happens to Captain America when he dies? He goes to the Evans"

"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."

"Saw a sign outside of an office building which said.. .. ""Today's workshop 'How To Cope With Disappointment' has been cancelled"""

"*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*"

"Skydiving without a parachute... Is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I heard this on a spotify ad and it cracked me up. I thought I'd share it.:) Edit: fixed an auto correct mistake"