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Joke of the Day

"Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful? The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube."

"Did this many people have birthdays before Facebook?"

"Why can't women play sports They can't wear the same clothes as 11 other women"

"Did ya hear that the price of coal is so high Santa can't afford to give it away anymore? All of the bad kids are stuck trying to steal oil."

"Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever."

"For those with kids who love Frozen..... Knock Knock. Whose there? You. You who? You Who, big summer blowout! (Norwegian accent)"

"today i saw a dog barking at a ball and i thougt, ah yes, good dog. i too curse the very things which bring me joy"

"My friend said he froze himself and as a result his testicles were at -273.1 degrees Celcius... Absolute bollocks"

"Petulant: (defn.) a cat or dog you let a friend borrow"

"2 Stormtrooper are eating a Wookie steak it was chewy"