201983
Joke of the Day
"I didn't quit my job today I wanted to quit, but they threatened to fire me"
Next Joke
"I used to work at a soda pressing factory... I had to compress soda cans all day. It was so depressing. (so...da...pressing). HA!"
"What's the difference between jokes and dicks? My girlfriend doesn't laugh at my jokes. *edited for spelling: ""Mr"" instead of ""my""*"
"Father Christmas: Excuse me but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lady: You certainly did! Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!"
"""Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."" ""Why not?"" [fakes a sore throat] ""I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."""
"Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of sprite... But when I woke up, I realised it was just a fantasy"
"*man gets run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry* *policeman informs family* ""There's no easy way to say this""..."
"How does Snoop Dogg keep his shirts so white? BLE-YATCH!"
"Yar, I wound up a toy car and put it down me pants. It's driving me nuts."
"Whats long, brown and sticky? A stick."