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Joke of the Day
"Whats long, brown and sticky? A stick."
Next Joke
"Unshakable Fact # 3 Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - Fucking PRICELESS."
"""Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"""
"What do you call a tin boat? A hydrofoil."
"Black person: Jeans $200, Shirt $100, Shoes $160, pockets.. $0 White Person: Jeans $15, Shirt $20, Shoes $30, pockets $5,000"
"*puts dreamcatcher above bed* ""Sure hope this works"" *wakes up in the middle of the night* *Ryan Gosling is stuck in dreamcatcher* ""YES"""
"What do waiters and prostitutes have in common? Just the tip."
"What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison."
"Cauliflower is just ghost broccoli."
"A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a crowded bar brandishing a revolver yelling ""Who's been screwing my wife?"" A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, ""You don't have enough ammo, mate!"""