201969

Joke of the Day

"I'm 100 years old and I keep misplacing my old toys I'm losing my marbles!"

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"""Buy your individuality!"" - Urban Outfitters"
"What do you do in 5 minutes that you then suffer for for 9 months? A school application."
"How do you launder money? Put it under the soap."
"Whenever I accidentally watch the Bravo channel, the last thing that comes to mind is the word, ""Bravo!"""
"Know why I pulled you over? ""No sir"" 1987, 7-11 on Main, you paid for Coke but filled your cup with Slurpee. We gotcha. We finally gotcha"
"What the difference between a feminist and a pencil? The pencil has a point"
"My ex-girlfriend was an astronaut. So I guess you could say that, I've had a spacex."
"If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I'll let you in line in front of me at the pharmacy."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent."