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Joke of the Day

"If you have your underwear on over top of your pants, I'll let you in line in front of me at the pharmacy."

"What did 0 say to 1? You're turning me on"

"How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Vegans have the same capability of changing a lightbulb as non-vegans."

"Why is it called ""reading a book"" and not paper view?"

"The best kind of love is experienced when the person who touches your ass also touches your heart."

"Why won't men perform oral on women the morning after sex? Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"At school, I saw my principal walking around in a daze. I asked him what happened, and he just looked at me and said, ""I've lost my faculties!"""

"""Whatcha inventing?"" ""I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack."" ""Can I bring my kids?"" ""Sure."""

"It's pretty rude how they'll kick you out of the hospital just for using a defibrillator to make a grilled cheese sandwich."

"What do you call Bob the builder after he retires? Bob"