201963

Joke of the Day

"How to tease a girlfriend if she really wants it My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'"

"Why does the mushroom always get invited to the party? Because he was a fungi"

"Shoe repair guy: so what happened? [cut to me trying to flush myself into the Ministry of Magic from my toilet] Me: I stepped in a..puddle"

"What is a cat's favorite alcoholic beverage? Boxed wine, obviously."

"Why do white girls only travel in groups of 3, 5, and 7? Because they literally can't even."

"What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction? A vice grip."

"Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival."

"Why didn't Jesus have any children? He only got nailed by guys ;)"

"Why'd the factory worker hate their job? Because it was soda pressing."

"I heard someone proposed a Tupac movie. But it was shot down."