99287

Joke of the Day

"Why'd the factory worker hate their job? Because it was soda pressing."

"Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? There was a face off in the corner"

"What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown? Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet"

"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""

"What does a sick train say? Achoo Achoo!"

"Did you hear the one about the peanut who rode the subway? He was a salted. Sexually. He was a salted sexually. . . .there's nothing funny about that."

"Two nuclear explosions occur next to each other. ""You're way too close to me"" says nuke #1. ""I'm Feynman"" says the other."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only half the things that come out of her vagina are retarded"

"What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy? ""There's no such thing as negative energy"""

"Your Momma is so fat... ... when she wears a Malcolm X jacket helicopters try to land on her back."