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Joke of the Day
"Why does the mushroom always get invited to the party? Because he was a fungi"
Next Joke
"*brings a super-magnet to a knife fight* *discovers that stainless steel is not magnetic*"
"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."
"The snail and the tortoise What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise? Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!"
"Why does Kim Jong Un so quick to anger? He's been holding in his shit for years"
"What did the triangle say to the circle? Why are you so pointless?"
"When someone has coordinates in their bio, I feel the need to alert their local police, to counter all the psychos en route to murder them."
"*dancing with the stars* *all of a sudden there's a fault in our stars* me(to stars): what the hell guys? we practiced this! *star wars*"
"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch."
"When villainy didn't pay anymore, The Riddler got a job writing furniture assembly instructions for IKEA."