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Joke of the Day

"Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival."

"Today my wife was on her knees before me. ...screaming: ""Don't you hide under the bed, asshole!"""

"Due to Michael Jackson's passing..."

"I play hard to get; if it's hard, you're getting it."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Not 6. My basement is still dark."

"Two rules for success 1. Never reveal everything you know"

"What is the slight difference between a fencer's club and r/jokes You'll see a lot of ripostes in the first one"

"What's your favorite terraria boss? Mine is the enderdragon"

"What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay? I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing."

"Walk up to the finest girl in the club and whisper, ""excuse me, can I get at that outlet behind you hon?"""