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Joke of the Day
"Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival."
Next Joke
"[job interview] Him: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm very independent. Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: Tell him, Mom. Mom: He is!"
"Why was the black person sad? Police Brutality"
"Me: *wakes up screaming* Wife: What's wrong? Me: Nightmare with the Microsoft Word Paperclip Helper again Wife: Need some help? Me: AHHH"
"*wakes up from 20 year coma* SHIT, MY TAMOGOTCHI"
"Dating blacks girls is a plus because you don't have to meet their fathers"
"Marriage is a 3 ring circus. . . The engagement ring, The wedding ring And the suffeRING."
"Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that ""It's 4 am!"" attitude, mmkay?"
"Why couldn't the coal worker get into the movie? He was a miner."
"The wife came home last night and asked ""Is there anything on tv?"" I said ""yeah,dust!"" And then the fight started."