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Joke of the Day

"When you send food back to the kitchen, you're basically saying, ""Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."""

"Potatoes are just poor defenseless vodka fetuses. Remeber that the next time you eat a french fry or hash browns, you monsters."

"What's brown, squishy, and something a weak minded baby would eat weed brownies."

"Why was John Lennon so ashy? Because he was cremated"

"A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath ""Mom"" he asked, ""are these my brains?"" ""Not yet, son""."

"Ok so I met this one guy who told me he lived in Paris. To make a long story short, he lived in Paris TX."

"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" And the horse says, ""I'm finally realizing that my alcoholism is driving my family apart."""

"Cop: Wife shot the husband for bothering her while reading a book Sargent: You arrested her? C: No S: Why? C: She's not done with the book"

"Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you're still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!"

"What's the most disgusting, distasteful international treaty organization? EU!"