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Joke of the Day

"My friends tell me that cooking is easy but it's not easier than not cooking."

"I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies."

"If you pretend you're skimming you can straight up throw rocks at people."

"Could you Christian rock singers please invest in a thesaurus. I think God is fully aware by now that you think he is ""great"" and ""awesome."""

"Why go out and be a 3rd wheel when you can stay home and be a unicycle?"

"They should make a reality TV show called, ""Jersey Shore meets Shark Week"""

"Ebay products are like sex You look at it online a lot but never see it in real life"

"So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Just kidding."

"I really don't have much of an opinion on alcoholic beverages during the holidays... You could say I'm pretty eggnogstic."

"If there's one good thing about the election of Trump, it's the greatly lowered odds of being attacked by Russia. After all, they're not going to key their own car."