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Joke of the Day
"Why aren't redheads very good R&B singers? Because they have no soul"
Next Joke
"[date with girl I met at the park] Waiter: is everything ok, sir? Me:*fighting back the tears* Her:*sigh* he expected me to bring my dog."
"Some people follow their dreams, I follow lunatics on the internet."
"There is a 'you can kill them if you catch them within a minute' rule on people who wake you up. EVERYONE knows that. *sharpening knife*"
"Moshe was walking down the street and gets run over by another Jewish driver. The driver speeds away and yells out the window ""Watch Out""! Moshe responds ""Why? Are you coming back?"
"Who is the biggest slut in the whole wide world? Mrs. pacman. For 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died."
"Am I original? -Yeaaah. Am I the only one? -Yeaaah. Do you wanna build a snowman? -Go away, Anna. Ok byyyyye."
"""I don't have time for this shit!"" I thought, as I sat on the toilet, angry, and late for work."
"So pi and the imaginary number are talking... and i says to pi, ""be rational."" Pi responds, ""u shut ur bitch-ass whore mouth or im gon shank u mofo"" and i says, ""Oh shit just got real."""
"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? The golfer goes: thwack.... ""Oh fuck""."