201772

Joke of the Day

"I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand."

"When I was a kid I got in trouble for playing with Grandma Bella in the sandbox. Can't play with dead bodies apparently."

"What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway? I don't want to plow my driveway"

"Wait, you didn't let me finish. What I was trying to say is Hitler was largely misunderstood by people who don't speak German."

"Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars? Because it had their Curiosity."

"I heard the chief of police on the news saying ""we will never forget 9 11"" I should bloody hope so its your phone number"

"One for the Mexican holiday. What do you call four Mexicans drowning? Cuatro Sinko."

"What would Hitler have said to the Jews if he were a Keynesian economist? ""In the short run, _you're_ all dead!"""

"They might as well put ""Uhhh..."" in front of every item on drive-thru menus."

"I like my woman like I like my shoelaces. Curvy, loose, and easy to finger."