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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway? I don't want to plow my driveway"
Next Joke
"How do you find Ronald McDonald in a room full of naked clowns? The Sesame Seeds on his buns. (According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)"
"How could I forget, mate? At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: ""I am a country member!"" and the other said: ""Oh, I remember!"""
"Sloth 911: What's your emergency [1 week later] Sloth: I'VE BEEN SHOT [1 week later] Sloth 911: DON'T MOVE! We'll be there in a month"
"A known sex maniac, on the publication of his memoir, was asked how he felt about his past exploits. ""I remember them fondly."""
"Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive."
"Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln? Because he was always in a cent."
"To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."
"My wife is like a plunger She's good at bringing up old shit."
"sometimes when a man and a woman love each other very much they decide to bring a tiny shitting bald man screaming into the world"