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Joke of the Day

"I heard the chief of police on the news saying ""we will never forget 9 11"" I should bloody hope so its your phone number"

"Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if a guy is not a vampire."

"OJ's son did it! OJ'S son: Daddy Daddy the ice cream man is here! Can I have some money? OJ: Go axe yo mama"

"Probably the greatest 'a guy walks into a bar' joke ever! http://youtu.be/7UBCdzJuB34"

"What do scientists and vegetables have in common? Stephen Hawking"

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon."

"What is musical and handy in the supermarket. A Chopin Lizst."

"Chuck Norris can skeletize a cow in two minutes."

"I just invented a new word: [plagiarism](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/277604/i_just_invented_a_new_word/)"

"This will be my first valentines with a girlfriend. Anyone have any ideas to help make it great? I'm 17, can drive and have a source of income. I would really like to make this one good."