201669

Joke of the Day

"Apparently certain types of ink can cause cancer I'm starting to get a bit worried, I've been smoking cigarettes wrapped in that stuff for a while now."

"People form Pittsburgh are called Pittsburgers. Do you know what people from Hamburg are called? Germans"

"I'm guessing I'm not married because I'd take a bullet for a grilled cheese before I'd take one for a girl."

"How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"I know what it's like to be pulled back from death and appreciate life more since I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and it still works"

"Did you hear about the Chinese Chef who broke out of jail? Apparently he went out for a wok and never came back."

"Tragic: In the world every 60 seconds... ...One minute passes."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"Subreddit for cleanjokes? Anyone know of one? TIA"

"When you have to poop so bad it comes out just as you reach the toilet... That's the shit I don't like."