201605
Joke of the Day
"You know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles."
Next Joke
"Hear about the paranoid guy who stopped using twitter? He said everyone was following him."
"Two scientists walk into a bar... ...The first one says: ""I'll have some H2O"" The second one says: ""I'll have some water too"" The first scientist got angry because his assassination attempt failed."
"A hamburger and french fries walk into a bar... The bartender looks at them and says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""
"You wanna know why me and my wife don't see eye to eye anymore after 26 years of marriage? She lost her legs so we're no longer the same height. edit: I'm sorry, I thought this was /r/antijokes"
"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just letter nipples."
"What does the nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business!"
"What do defensive linemen and porn stars have in common? At some point both of them have said to themselves ""This sack is going to make my career."""
"Knock Knock Who's there Daisy Daisy who Daisy me rollin', they hatin'"
"what's the best part of... Having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."