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Joke of the Day

"I've never met a weekend that I didn't like."

"A priest a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"Vampires love tea... A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says ""I thought you only drink blood?"" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, ""I'm making tea""!"

"To silence her critics who hail her as Satan, Hillary is set to launch a new post-apocalyptical video game after winning the election! It's called President Evil."

"I went into the changing room in a clothing store several times... But it stayed the same."

"How do you know if your friend, ""Doesn't even OWN a TV?"" Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. ""Did you hear about the President's new policy on...?"" ""I don't even OWN a TV!"""

"Part of our choir got kidnapped last week! Two guys just got arrested for grand theft alto."

"Why do they throw so many Black men in prison? So it hurts more when the pedophiles get raped."

"If by ticklish, you mean I'll turn into a rabid chihuahua on bath salts if you come near my underarm, then yes I'm a little ticklish."

"why are terrorists so popular at parties? Because They're the bomb"