201506

Joke of the Day

"What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician? I feel sorry for you son, I got 99 problems but you got imaginary ones"

"""I'm not that kind of girl."" ~That kind of girl"

"What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common? They both crumble under pressure"

"If Sean Connery starred in Interstellar... He'd tell Murph to stop talking to her shelf."

"Apparently if you call out your own name while masturbating they will kick you off this ferris wheel."

"The shortest sentence in the English language is ""go."" What is the longest? Life without parole"

"spent today capturing hipsters, tagging them, and releasing them back into Silverlake. Study: Do skinny jeans restrict grazing patterns?"

"When I see a parked car with the stick figure family on it, I move the husband over and put my studly stick figure next to the wife."

"I tried to give myself a sex change But I just couldn't pull it off. Credit to Rohan Ganju a young upcoming Australian comedian."

"What's the one car that gingers can't have? A Kia Soul."