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Joke of the Day

"What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common? They both crumble under pressure"

"Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire ? It bit his neck sucked his blood and said 'Who's a pretty boy then ?'!"

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."

"I got a resume from a kid with the last name ""Arriola"". I'm bringing him in for an interview solely to make nipple jokes."

"How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone."

"Fuck you, little sticker on produce!"

"What did the Giant say after he ate Tonga? 'I want Samoa!'"

"How do you stop an Albanian tank? You shoot the guy pushing it."

"Why are Plumbers always so tired? Because their job is draining."