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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the murder of Chickpeas? Houmous-cide."

"Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you"

"I got kicked out of my club cuddling team today.. ..turns out they frown on the use of performance enhancing hugs."

"What's the difference between Reese and Tyrese? Reese was born Witherspoon but Tyrese stole his."

"My sister called in a panic to say she'd dropped my kid. I didn't even know she was pregnant."

"My european friend Opee is opening up a restaurant where he claims to have the 'worlds best pizza'. His restaurant is in the middle of no where, but don't worry Opee Delivers"

"When life gives you AIDS... Make lemonAIDS"

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"GENIE: 3 wishes. But no extra wishes & no sex stuff Me: why not? GENIE: I make the rules ME: I wish I made the rules GENIE: ...dammit"

"I went out for a vindaloo last night and my arse is really sore today I can't believe some of the things I do for a free curry."