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Joke of the Day

"GENIE: 3 wishes. But no extra wishes & no sex stuff Me: why not? GENIE: I make the rules ME: I wish I made the rules GENIE: ...dammit"

"Please write another brilliant status about how high you are. I'm on the edge of my seat here."

"A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says ""We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here."" The Higgs Boson replied, ""Well, without me, you can't have mass."""

"Your helium addiction is out of control, but nobody is taking your cry for help seriously."

"What's the difference between healthcare.gov and Derrick Rose? Healthcare.gov was broken and now it works."

"1st Date Me: Just warning you. I get freaky. Her: Oh yeah? How freaky.? Me:*thinking of using pizza rolls as a pizza topping* So freaky."

"A quick Mel Gibson joke. If Mel Gibson directed a popular 90's show starring Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt: ""Mad about Jew"""

"I for one, like Roman Numerals"

"A young cat jumped out and scared a mouse and said. . . Just kitten."

"An abacus doesn't need batteries you can always count on it"