20118

Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if a potato is baked? It's [eyes](http://i.imgur.com/KwCyY.jpg) are all red and glossy."

"I had a dream about you saving my life! A poison snake bit my dick..."

"Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue."

"A man walks into a bar... Ouch!"

"Jack went to see the camp nurse. 'I fell last night' he said. 'And I was unconscious for eight hours.' The nurse was shocked. 'How awful. What happened?' 'I fell asleep!'"

"Two flies are sitting on a piece of shit. One fly cuts a fart. The other one says, ""Hey! I'm eatin' here!"""

"What did the Dead Head say, after he ran out of weed? ""Damn, this music sucks!"""

"Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing."

"Where do chicken strips find love? Chicken tinder ~Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem"

"Me: You should really try this lip gloss Her: this is super glue Me: HEAR ME OUT"