201144

Joke of the Day

"What do Aussies call mates? Cunts. ""Sup cunt""."

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"Do hairy people get bed head all over? Ma'am, I just called to see if you're happy with your cell phone provider. But probably they do."

"What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies? I don't know; they were speaking Spanish."

"What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike? *Attire.*"

"Kid: ""I want to be a doctor when I grow up."" Mom: ""You can't. Your hands aren't cold enough."""

"Why did the biology magazine put a picture of gametes on their cover? Because sex cells."

"With Trump and Hillary being the candidates, I think we know who will win... Dave."

"i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier"

"There's a new restaurant opening called Kentucky Freud Chicken... ...It's motherfucking good."