20114

Joke of the Day

"{Kid's bday party} Me: Where's the cake? Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes."

"A porn star comes running up to a laundromat just as it's closing, offering to trade sex so she can wash her clothes. [nsfw] She just wanted to get one more load in."

"How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? You knock on the door."

"""When in doubt, puke up some clear, sticky fluid."" -Cats"

"Two crows fall in love, move in together, start a family. The perfect murder."

"Cinderella If you play Cinderella backwards it's a woman learning her place...."

"I enjoy cereal so much.. I enjoy cereal so much that I started incorporating it into other aspects of my life. For example, I don't get blue balls, I get Grape-Nuts."

"You know you've got a real fatty in bed when her boobs taste like deodorant"

"*Eating mini Reese's cups* 5&7: Mommy what are you eating? M: Dog poop."

"How do you circumcise a hillibilly? You kick his sister in the jaw!"