201041

Joke of the Day

"""I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition,"" my doctor said. ""Woah, woah, woah, doc,"" I replied. ""Let's not make any rash decisions."""

"What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches? Single."

"How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar? Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds."

"Honey Boo Boo evolves into Sugar Scab! Pokemon is back baby!"

"Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents? Elephanta Claus !"

"What did the physicist say when his wife wanted to go jewelery shopping? ""I don't have the energy for this."""

"How do farmers find their sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying!!"

"How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan? ... Take their little stones and brooms away!"

"Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!"

"Me and my friends started a band called 1,023 Megabytes... We haven't gotten a gig yet."